Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Light can go backwards. And Steven Hawkins can disappear up his own ass.

It has generally been assumed for many years that given enough time and energy the average scientist could disappear up his own ass, thereby creating a super massive black hole. Now, through the use of the large hadron collider at CERN, this thoery has been shown to be true. By proving that the speed of light is inversely proportional to mass at the event horizon (Hawkins Ring), we can see that the head can easily be made to slip into said passage.

Scientists have been overjoyed at this discovery and are currently working to see what other objects can be made to behave in such a strange manner. One suggestion has been to see if Mariah Carey can actually live in the real world.

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